


Long Nights and Short Days

by B_Frizzy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bad Jokes, Gay Bashing, Homophobia, Lots of drinking, M/M, Masturbation, Multi, Polyamory, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Threesome - M/M/M, emotionally constipated Remus, tattooed sirius, wolfstarbucks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-20
Updated: 2016-04-20
Packaged: 2018-06-03 09:11:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6605119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/B_Frizzy/pseuds/B_Frizzy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James leaned forward over the table, pushing aside his empty glass and Remus' own half-drank pint. They were close, face-to-face. “Sirius and I date outside of each other. But together. So, we both date another person.”</p><p>“And you want me...?”</p><p>“Yeah, pretty much.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Long Nights and Short Days

**Author's Note:**

> Basically, there is never enough wolfstarbuck. Even kind of mediocre wolfstarbuck. 
> 
> As usual, I hate titles, this one sucks, and so do I.  
> I kind of lost my steam for this halfway through, but was DETERMINED to finish it. I didn't really intend for it to be PWP, because I'm not super confident in my porn-y abilities, so hopefully it didn't turn out too terribly.  
> The same time I lost my steam, I also started to not really like what I was writing. Hopefully it's not too terrible and I'm just being hard on myself. If not, I'm sorry!

Of all the nasty things said about James Potter, it had never been said that he wasn't stupidly brave. When he faced challenges, his brain shut down and instinct took over. And for James Potter, fight or flight wasn't even a choice. In his mind, if someone was in trouble, he should help out. Period. When he heard muffled groans and angry shouts walking home after a late shift at the pub, he didn't think twice about running down a dimly lit alley. 

The closer he got to the commotion, the easier it was to make out what the voices were shouting. It made him push faster through the musty bins, messenger bag hitting his hip with each step.

“What you think of that, you fucking poof? Not so mouthy now, are you?”

“Maybe we should put that disgusting fag mouth to use, eh?”

James skidded to a stop when the figures came into view. Three large men were stranding over another, who was balled up on the dirty ground. One of the three blokes, presumably the leader, grabbed the man on the ground's curly mop of hair, pulling him up forcefully. Blood was steadily streaming from a thick gash over his eyebrow and something had been shoved in his mouth, a makeshift gag. James saw red.

“Oi, you lot! Best fuck off before the police get here.” It was a bluff, but that didn't matter; somehow, most drunken fucks never called him on it. These three were the same model; at the mention of the cops, they exchanged frightened looks. With a parting kick to the man's ribs, the leader stood and flicked a wrist to the other two. 

“Fucking shirtlifters aren't worth it. Let's go.”

James watched them closely, making sure they were long out of sight before kneeling to check on the man. He pulled a small first aid kit from his bag (one that he had never used before, but knew would come in handy eventually). He carefully pulled out the rag that had been used as a gag while surveying the rest of the damage. The cut over his eyebrow may have needed stitches, and his bottom lip was split. Judging by the way he hugged his middle, there was damage to his ribs as well. There was no way James' little kit would be enough.

“Hey, my name is James. You're okay now, but I think I need to take you to A+E.”

The man groaned, trying to pull away. “No hospitals.”

“Mate, you're hurt pretty bad.” The man was struggling to stand, but he couldn't quite get his legs underneath himself. James pulled his arm around his own broad shoulders to help him up. So close, he could hear the man repeating “no hospitals” over and over to himself.

“Alright, okay, no hospitals. Shit, bollocks. Uh, well, my flat is a few blocks from here. At least let me look you over there.” Standing, the man was just as tall as James, and easy 6'2”. He searched his bloodied face for any objections, and when the man gave none, he began to shuffle them back toward the mouth of the alley.

It was slow going making their way back to the flat. By the time they made it to the narrow doorway, it was half three and James had learned the man's name was Remus. He wasn't sure if Remus was so quiet because he had just been attacked, or if he always was, but trying as hard as he could, he couldn't get any more information from him. 

Fitting the two of them inside was clumsy and loud. It was no surprise to James that they woke up Sirius. With no explanation, working on adrenaline alone, he called to his half-dressed, bleary-eyed boyfriend, “Pads, help me get him on the couch.”

Sirius was significantly shorter than the pair, but still managed to tuck himself under Remus' other arm and hold up some weight. It was a few short steps to the couch, then Sirius was off again, presumably to get the first aid kit from their bedroom. In the light of the living room, James could finally get a good look at the man. Remus had the sides of his hair shorn sort, only the tawny top kept long. The cut on his forehead bisected a scar that ran from temple to ear. High cheekbones were scraped up, like they had been ground painfully into the ground. Blood crusted around his large nose and plump lips. A thick sweater was torn and stained. 

From behind them, James heard a small noise. Sirius had made his way back into the room, staring straight at Remus. His own abusive past had made him extremely sensitive to violence. If he had any other choice, James wouldn't have brought the bloodied man home, out of respect for his boyfriend. So late, though, there were no other options.

“Pads. Padfoot. Sirius, it'll be okay, love. Go back to sleep, I'll be in soon.”

Sirius handed over the plastic box, then rushed toward the open bedroom door, closing it behind him. Remus watched the exchange carefully, taking in everything he could see. Small flat, several football posters, three closed doors. The harsh sting of alcohol brought him back. He winced, but didn't pull away. He thought about the indecipherable ink on the back of the retreating man.

“Sorry, I know it hurts. The best I can do is clean you up and give you some plasters, unfortunately. If you want to wait around a few hours until morning, I may be able to get my friend, whose gonna be a genius doctor one day, to look at you.”

James smiled tightly at Remus, who remained silent. Lily would probably kill him for waking her up before noon on her day off, but this was a legitimate medical need. Not like the other times he (well, more often than not Sirius) had called for no real reason.

He worked diligently, trying to make conversation the entire time, if for no reason other than to keep Remus' mind off the pain. “Earlier, that was my boyfriend Sirius. I know, barmy name. Our mate Peter lives here too, but he started some new medications recently and is probably sleeping them off. His girlfriend comes and goes, too. Marlene.”

He chattered on, carefully finishing his work. “Well, I think I'm all through. I can get you something to change into, if you want to stay the night...?”

Slowly forming his words around his split lip, Remus said, “I would would really appreciate it, if it's not imposing.”

“No, not at all! Let me grab you something, the loo is the second door on the left.” James quietly raided his drawers, finally deciding on a pair of jogging pants and an old football shirt. He left them in front of the closed bathroom door and pulled out the spare bedding, laying it on the couch.

When he finally laid down with Sirius, he could tell the smaller man was sleeping fitfully. Unsurprisingly, it was an uneasy night for them all.

 

Remus woke up to the smell of coffee, hushed whispers, and no clue where he was. It took several minutes to remember where he was and why he was so sore. When it came back to him, he couldn’t help the rush of embarrassment and shame that filled him. He knew that one day his attitude would get him hurt. He couldn't believe that a stranger had been kind enough to take him in and treat his wounds while he sat there totally silent, bleeding on the upholstery. 

He slowly got up from the lumpy couch and made his way to the small kitchenette, where he could hear voices. Remus stood several feet away, taking in the sight from afar. His memory of the previous night was slightly hazy, but he could remember that the tall, dark skinned lad with wild black hair was the one who had saved him in the alley. He was holding hands with another man, smaller with delicate features and long hair pulled back into a messy bun. James' boyfriend, his mind provided. 

Across from them was a very annoyed looking redhead. She was dwarfed by James' tall frame, but her presence was too large to ignore. All three of them were unnaturally and unbelievably attractive. Remus felt his cheeks heat up. It was a totally inappropriate thought, even if they hadn't invited him into their homes. Checking everyone out from afar like a creeper wasn't the polite response.

The whispered for a while, conversation getting more and more heated. As they talked, the redhead didn't seem to notice her voice rising, and Remus couldn't help but overhear. “-have I told you about picking up strays, James Potter? You can't save all of bloody London.”

The shame came back full force. Clearly, they were fighting about him. He invaded their lives and put them out. He needed to leave before he caused a real fight. Clearly, James' boyfriend had been uncomfortable last night, and now this new woman was angry. Pretending like he hadn't been listening, he shuffled toward the trio and rushed out words. “Hey, thanks so much for last night, but I should get going now.”

James' face fell. “No! Please, at least let Lily look you over before you go.”

All eyes were on him. Remus nervously scuffed his feet. He didn't understand how total strangers could be so selflessly caring. The London he had gotten to know was cold and friendless. For some reason, James had taken him in, helped him with no questions asked, and invited him into his home, without asking for anything in return. Remus wasn't sure how to respond to such genuine care.

Before he could figure out what to say, the redhead, who was closest to him, grabbed his hand from his side and gave it a squeeze. “Please, if you don't let me check your ribs, I'll have to insist you go to A+E. I'll be gentle, I promise.”

Remus found himself nodding, unable to resist the woman's huge personality. He was quickly dragged into the small bathroom where medical supplies were already laid out, ready to be used. The woman made quick work of Remus' face, humming at the job that James had done. She replaced a few plasters and smeared on some cream, but seemed satisfied over all.

“At least that stupid boy remembers what I taught him. Let's see the rest, then.” Remus slowly began stripping off his borrowed shirt. His ribs protested heavily, but that wasn't why he hesitated. Remus knew what was under the shirt. Like the professional she was training to be, though, she didn't say anything about the ugly scar bisecting his midsection. Instead, she gently fingered his now purple sides. Remus caught a look in the mirror, and suddenly the dull ache turned into serious pain. The bruises kicked into his sides looked much worse than he expected.

“Definitely bruised a few ribs, but luckily none are broken. I'd say ice and rest for a few days.” Remus quickly pulled back on the soft t-shirt. 

“Thanks, uh... I'm not sure I know your name.”

The woman pulled open the door and bustled him out. “I'm Lily. James and I were a thing, once upon a time ago, but I realized I was way too good for him.”

Remus smiled at her. He liked her attitude. He could see why her and James were a thing. They were like opposite sides of the same coin; him unending kind, her sassy, but both genuine and caring. The pair made it back to the couple at the table and Remus wondered if that had something to do with James and Lily breaking up. The way James held his boyfriend close, taking in his face like it was the last thing he wanted to see in the world. It was easy to see they were gone on each other.

The theory was quickly put to an end when Lily walked up to them and pressed a loving kiss to each man's head. Clearly, there were no hard feelings. She seemed to care for them both. Remus hovered just away from the table. Once again, he wondered why they had taken him in, how he could fit into the their little family. The thought gave him pause; he didn't fit into their family at all. That wasn't anyone's intention. James didn't bring him home to introduce him around. Remus wasn't actually a stray, he was a man in trouble, a task, that was all. They didn't want to keep him, and he couldn't think like that.

As if sensing his discomfort, James pulled back from his boyfriend and gave him a sunny smile. “Are you a coffee or a tea man, Remus?”

“Tea, please. Herbal if you have it.” He took a few steps closer while James jumped up from his chair to start the kettle. He sifted through the cabinets. 

“I prefer herbal, too.” It was the first time Remus had really heard the boyfriend speak. Remus looked at him, once again blown away by his beauty. His nose, chin, and eyebrows were pointed, almost elfin, but his jawline was purely masculine. There were smudges of kohl lining his stunning grey eyes, as though he hadn't gotten it all off before bed the previous night. 

And he definitely noticed Remus staring just this side of too long. “I don't think either of these two bothered to introduce me. I'm Sirius.”

James cleared his throat and gave Remus a knowing smirk. He blushed, knowing he had been caught staring, not only by Sirius by by James as well. Neither of them commented, but they shared a private look between them. James turned his attention back to Remus, asking “So, if I may, how'd you get into that shit last night?”

Lily thwapped his shoulder, muttering something about being tactless. Remus didn't mind so much, though. He'd rather direct than anything else. He'd also rather pretty much any other question. He took a breath. “Tried to pull the wrong block. And I may have mouthed off a bit to his pals.”

It was a guy Remus had seen around the pub several times. He definitely didn't seem against the idea of Remus, entertaining his heated looks and flirting conversation. He never said a word to suggest that he wasn't interested, not even when Remus suggested that they head home for the night. It wasn't until they were taking a “shortcut” down the alley that he realized there were two more blokes following them. Remus had suggested that the three were awfully practiced for a group who had never picked up a guy before. When one shoved him to his knees, the word “gangbang” may have been used, much to their disgust. Any time he was nervous, Remus' mouth got the better of him. Or when he was comfortable. Pretty much all the time. Nobody really seemed to appreciate his particular brand of humor. 

Sirius snorted. “You must have some mouth to piss them off that badly.”

“You know, oddly enough, just how good my mouth is was the subject that really seemed to get them going.” 

Sirius flushed a dark red and James fumbled with a mug at the counter. Apparently they weren't expecting that sort of comment from the hurt, quiet guy who had spent the night on the couch. Lily smacked a hand across his shoulder. 

“Remus!” Her admonishment were drowned out by James' full-bellied laugh. Lily turned toward her ex, “James! Don't encourage him!”

James' laughter was contagious. Soon, Remus was joining in, carefully holding his ribs to try to lessen the ache. Apparently, James appreciated his humor at least. Lily looked scandalized and Sirius was fighting his blush. Once they started laughing, though, it was hard to stop, even if the other two in the kitchen thought they were insane. 

As his laughter petered out, Remus thought once again about fitting into their little family. For just a moment, he let himself fantasize about spending mornings with the couple, laughing about nothing, just enjoying their company. They were nice thoughts.

 

As soon as he made it home, though, Remus tried as hard as he could to ignore any thoughts about James and Sirius. The odd couple kept appearing in Remus' head, despite his insistence that they stay far away. It was hard for him because they were both so... intriguing. They were the type of people who Remus wanted to get to know, the type he wanted in his life. 

Two days after waking up in the small flat, James texted to check up on Remus (and he had absolutely no idea how they had his number). Remus didn't text back. For some reason, his interest didn't exactly feel innocent. If he had met either James or Sirius under different circumstance, or individually, Remus had a feeling he would have tried to pick them up. It made him feel wobbly to have feelings for two people at once, not to mention two people who were together. Remus wasn't huge on feeling things for people to begin with. Feelings were complicated and messy.

So, like the mature adult he was, Remus completely ignored it, trying to put the entire subject (and the two very attractive men) out of his head. As far as he saw it, he wouldn't ever see the two again, so why bother making himself anxious over it? Just like always, life decided to kick him in the ass for it. 

Exactly a week later, Remus found himself face-to-face with James over a drink-stained bar. It took the other man a few seconds to recognize Remus, but when he did, a wide smile broke out on his face. Remus had nearly convinced himself that he had exaggerated just how attractive James was in his head. He hadn't. Set behind the dark wood, he was wearing a tight white t-shirt that hugged his lithe frame. His hair looked positively sex-tousled. Before he could stop it, Remus' brain provided an image of James and Sirius rolling around in bed before James left for his shift at the pub, doing all sorts of things to make that hair tousled. 

He could feel his face flush as James pulled him into an awkward half-hug over the bar. “Hey, mate! It's great to see you!”

It was like being greeted by an old friend instead of a near stranger. Even the crappy hug gave Remus butterflies. And damn did James smell good. He tried to tame his face as he pulled back, giving a small smile.

“Hey, I wasn't expecting to see you.” He silently added 'and wouldn't have come if I had known'. It was so hard to ignore thoughts of the couple with one of them standing there in all his glory. James didn't seem to realize anything, though.

“Gid actually just got here, it's his shift. You want to have a pint?” He waved his hand at a large blond man helping another customer further into the room. Remus vaguely recognized him as the usual bartender. 

Remus quickly weighed his options. If he said no, it was possible that this would be the last time he would see the man. That was in line with the plan he had been formulating in his head for days. It was the route he should take. Somehow, he couldn't make himself actually say no. Because if he said yes, that would mean spending a relaxed night drinking and having conversation with good company. 

He found himself nodding, “Yeah, that sounds good.”

Another dazzling smile. “Grab a table, I'll bring over some drinks in a mo'.”

Remus shuffled through the dimly lit pub, toward one of the empty tables. It wasn't overly busy, still early in the evening. Most of the people were having quiet conversation or were drinking alone. It wasn't hard for Remus to find a slightly secluded spot for them. It wasn't so much that he wanted privacy, just that he wanted... Okay, yes, he wanted privacy.

It didn't take long for James to find the table, two pints in his hands. He set one down in front of Remus and took a long drink from his own. 

“So, you never texted me back.” There was nothing accusatory in his tone, just truth. Remus still ducked his head in embarrassment. 

“Yeah, sorry about that.” He didn't offer an explanation and James didn't ask for one. They both knew there wasn't any good reason why he had been incommunicado. 

James gave a slightly foamy smile. He lifted a hand and lightly touched Remus' eyebrow, where he knew there was a vicious looking cut. He held his breath, totally unsure of what to do with James touching him. It didn't seem like a friends-sort of touch. It felt more like he was caressing his face. He stared wide-eyed. 

“It looks like you've been healing up nicely.” 

Remus cleared his throat, sure that his voice would be husky. “Yeah, yup. Doing good.” 

With an indecipherable look, James pulled away and took a deep draught of his pint. He leaned back on his stool and god, did he look good. Remus found his eyes roaming over broad shoulders and a trim waist, how well the white cloth complimented dark skin. 

“You know, I think I know why you didn't text.”

Remus snapped his eyes back up to James' face. He felt a shock of fear go through him. He really, really hoped James didn't actually know the reason. The serene expression on his face didn't seem to indicate that he did.

“I have to admit, I'm pretty much the most oblivious person ever, so I wasn't the one who realized. But Sirius and Lily both thought the same thing, and I trust their judgment.”

Remus tried his hardest to hide his face in his glass. “And, uh, what do they think?”

“They seemed to think you like us.” That small smile was back on his face. It looked a little like the private little smile that he had given Sirius at the breakfast table. 

Sticking with the avoidance route that he was so used to, Remus looked down at the wooden table, avoiding eye contact and evading. “Well, yeah, you're good blokes. I like you.”

James laughed loudly. The sound seemed to echo in the space. The rest of the conversations had fallen away, and even the music was just background to their conversation. It seemed oddly intimate. “C'mon, love. You know what I mean.”

With a damp sleeve, Remus rubbed his face, careful over the healing wounds. He wasn't sure what to say. He could barely even admit to himself how he felt, let alone to the person (at least, one of the pair) that he was so flustered over. He was even more thrown by the fact that James didn't seem angry or off-put at all. If anything, he seemed amused and maybe even interested? Was that a good thing, though? If James was interested, what did that mean? In his experience, this situation meant him turning into the mistress, which he was not entertaining at all. But if that were the case, why would James even mention Sirius in all of it? 

Confused and unsure what else to do, Remus told the truth. Or as close to it as he was willing to admit. “I'm really not sure how I'm feeling.”

James seemed to consider him carefully. Remus felt exposed as dark eyes roamed over him. It was intimidating, to say the least. He had no idea what his face would betray. They stayed like that for several moments, James still and Remus picking his cuticles nervously. 

With one last drink, James finished his beer. “You know, I never thought I'd be having this conversation with you. But Sirius thought it would go okay and that you'd take everything alright.”

“Honestly, I have no idea what this conversation is, so...” More than ever, Remus felt lost. Not only was he lost in his own head, but he was lost in the real world, too. Nothing was making sense. James' confident was the only thing that seemed to tether him.

Then, all at once, he didn't seem so confident. He slumped over a little and ran his hand through his tousled hair, a gesture too practiced to be anything but a bad habit. “Look, I have to be honest, this isn't usually how this goes. So, yeah. Sirius and I aren't really a traditional couple. I guess you can say we're more... open.”

Remus expected him to say more, to explain, but he didn't. What did James mean by open? Was James propositioning him? Maybe something else? 

“I still don't know what you're saying.”

James leaned forward over the table, pushing aside his empty glass and Remus' own half-drank pint. They were close, face-to-face. “Sirius and I date outside of each other. But together. So, we both date another person.”

“And you want me...?”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“Huh.” Remus had no clue what to think. He knew, intellectually, that there were polyamorous couples out there. He knew that some of them did the whole three-person dating thing. He had never given it much thought, though, because he never expected to be in a situation where it required thoughts. 

He really tried to consider, though, without letting bias play into it. He tried to be honest with himself about how he would feel about being part of a couple like that. Remus had never been a particularly jealous person, so he didn't think that would be a big problem. Just like when he was trying to figure out his feelings, though, he tended to ignore problems when they came up. In past relationships, it had been a problem for his partners. He hadn't had a real relationship that lasted longer than a few months. Remus could see his personality flaws compounding if he was in a relationship with three people, not to mention entering into something that was already well established.

That was really the greatest issue in his head: James and Sirius seemed like an unstoppable force. They were so good together. Trying to find a place in that was honestly intimidating. Remus was scared of his feelings, and he was scared of what would happen if he gave in to them. And more than anything, he was scared of giving in and being turned away or ignored because James and Sirius were in love, long term, with each other but were playing around with other people short term.

Remus shifted uncomfortably. The same side of him that said yes to sitting down for a drink with James was telling him to go for it, to take a chance, life is short. It wasn't as though he hadn't been hurt in quote unquote normal relationships before. And rarely had he gone into a relationships with such strong feelings. That little side of him was yelling to take the risk, to give it a try, that the possible downfall would be so much smaller than what he would get in return.

He carefully looked at the man leaning toward him. James still looked unsure of himself, searching Remus' face, as though he could find an answer there. Remus looked into his brown eyes and his decision was made.

“Let's give it a try.”

 

Sirius stayed up late into the night, waiting for James to make his way home. It wasn't so much that he was nervous something terrible would happen, except he was totally worried that something terrible would happen. A week had passed since James had shown up in the middle of a night with a beaten and bloody stranger, and it had triggered something in Sirius that he thought he had gotten over a long time ago. His nightmares came back, along with all of the anxiety that something would happen to James that would keep him from ever coming back. 

The vague 'be back late, ran into Remus, love you' text made him worry even more. Not only did he not have a time to expect his boyfriend home, but he had butterflies about the possibility that they could be having the talk. The one that could mean either great or disastrous things.

For the first hour or so, Sirius tried to play it cool, telling himself he was going to enjoy a nice night to himself in the flat, a rarity. He settled down with a book and a nice glass of wine, the one that James hated but Sirius insisted they keep in the house. When he realized (for the second time) that he had re-read the same paragraph three times without taking any of it in, he put his book aside with a sigh. Peter was with Marlene, so he couldn't be a distraction. After a bit of deliberation, he settled on a bath (taking his wine bottle with him).

Once he drew the hot water, adding his favorite bubble bath and sinking in, Sirius realized it wasn't going to be as relaxing as he expected it to be. Within minutes he was back to thinking about the conversation about James and Remus would be having. Sure, he had been the one to bring the topic up to James, but it still made him feel nervous. It felt more serious than it ever had before. Even though they had only met the once, Remus felt more... important. He worked so well with Sirius and James; his dry, dirty humor and quiet intelligence fit in so well. Initializing the possibility of a relationship so early on could mean losing Remus' friendship.

Early in their discover of the polyamorous lifestyle, Sirius and James had made the mistake of propositioning a good friend. He told them it was ridiculous, as if it were a joke, but ended up falling out of touch with them quickly. After that, the two tried to join a group specifically designed for finding a third; they had a lot of fun, but it hadn't worked out well for establishing a relationship. It was years of push and pull, trying to find the right balance of life and lifestyle. It let to an unease about approaching those who the couple were too close to.

Sirius took a swig straight from his bottle and sighed. If Remus had denied James, it wouldn't have taken so long for James to make it home. So did that mean he was interested? If he wasn't, had something else happened to James on the was home? Sirius tried as hard as he could to put that particular thought out of his mind. He tried to think about the relationship that may be, about how things would end up working out if Remus was interested. 

But, there was another reason it could be taking so long, one that Sirius was hoping wouldn't happen: Remus could be interested in just James. The long-standing rule to their relationship was that James and Sirius date together or not at all. Of course, there were always exceptions to rules. Lily had been one of those exceptions. James had fancied her since his preteen years. Sirius and Lily liked each other as friends, and nothing more. When they stopped their back and forth and got together, Sirius was happy for them. In the end, it didn't work out, and neither had Sirius' own independent relationship, but there were no hard feelings. If it turned out that Remus was interested in only James, Sirius wouldn't get in the middle of something so good, but he could admit it'd hurt a little to see them together.

It would make sense, though, if Remus was interested in James. James was an amazing man; he was so purely kind and caring for everyone. He had saved Remus from a beating, for God's sake. Not to mention he was incredibly talented and attractive. He offered so much to a potential significant other. Sirius himself was a mess, more work than reward. And the self-doubt was pretty overwhelming, too.

He lifted the wine bottle again, and found it empty. He wasn't sure when exactly he had finished it, but looking at the empty glass, he could feel the familiar light-headed feel of wine combined with the hot water of his bath. Sirius slumped down until his nose was at the water line and turned his his thoughts back to James and Remus. If nothing else, he had to admit they would be gorgeous together. They were nearly the same height, but so different otherwise: Remus' pale skin and long limbs compared to James' dark, muscular frame. The image of Remus' long fingers wrapped around James' dusty cock popped into his head.

He wasn't sure where the image had come from, but he didn't push it away. Tipsy on wine, warm in the water, and looking for a distraction, some innocent, dirty thoughts seemed like they could be nice. He could perfectly picture James naked, knew every line and curve of his body. Remus was a mystery, though, and that was sort of fun. In his head, Sirius pictured a naked James in bed. Seeing him with sleepy eyes and bed head was one of Sirius' favorite things. He could see every detail, down to the small paw print tattoo on his outer hip. He was just waking up, hard from whatever dreams he had. 

Remus was there, running his hand playfully over James' side. He chased his fingers with a dexterous pink tongue. When he got to the ticklish spot Sirius knew was right under his rib cage, James squirmed. Remus let out a deep chuckle, but continued downward, over his hips, through the thick thatch of hair, and over the swollen length of him. He continued teasing with small licks and nibbles.

As Sirius continued to watch the phantom couple in his head, he reached into the water and slowly began to stroke himself. When the Remus in his head swallowed James down completely, plump lips pressing tight, Sirius gripped himself tightly. Remus slowly drew up and so did Sirius. It was a dance, a slow and steady up and down. Sirius breathed heavy, imagining hallowed cheeks and the peak of pink tongue. 

Remus slid one hand closer and closer to James' cock, slipping two fingers in his mouth on an upstroke. As quickly as they slipped up, they slipped back down, over James' tight sac and to his puckered hole, When he slipped in the first finger, so did Sirius. The teasing had stopped, and every motion was precise and intentional. Fingers worked in an out, two, then three, crooked to hit that right spot.

Together, they worked until Sirius and James were right on the edge. Sirius was working himself hard and fast, one hand stroking himself tightly and rocking back on his fingers with every thrust. He was so close. The thought of James' coming so nicely, streaking Remus' face is what sent him over the edge. 

Totally spent, he relaxed back into the water. It wasn't how he expected to spend the time, but it worked as well as anything, he supposed. It definitely relaxed him more than anything else had. He quickly finished his bath and ended up back with his book on the couch. It was another hour before there was a scraping at the door.

Sirius stilled and held his breath. For a minute, he thought it was someone breaking in. Then he heard familiar giggling. James stumbled through the door, arm wrapped around Remus. They were breathless and red-faced, clearly pissed. 

"Shh, sh, you're gonna wake him up. Pads, you're gonna wake up." James shoved his face close to Remus', like he was telling him secrets, except the alcohol took away his ability to control his volume. Remus was nodding solemnly. They started making their way toward the bedroom, not even noticing the person on the couch.

Sirius sighed, foreseeing a long night of babysitting. He stood up and called out. "I'm already awake, babe. I was waiting for you."

When James saw his face, he broke up in a huge smile. He ambled over and pulled Sirius into a tight hug and gave him a sloppy kiss. "Hey, love. Hi. I brought home Remus. Is that okay?"

Sirius nodded and tried to pull himself away, but couldn't. James had always been a very tactile drunk. It was fun when they were drinking together, but when Sirius had to take care of him, it became a hassle to get him to do anything that meant letting go. And since James was so much taller (and fit), it meant a lot of dragging around Sirius wherever he wanted to go.

"You know it's fine that you brought Remus home."

James turned them toward the man in question, huge smile still on his face. He pulled Remus into a bear hug with them. Sirius' ended up in a James and Sirius sandwich, his face pressed tightly against Remus' collarbone. James nuzzled against his damp hair. Both men held him tight, making it impossible to pull away.

"Me and James talked. About this. You know, being a this. There being a this." Remus' breath smelled like hops and his voice vibrated deep in his chest. Sirius could feel it all the way to his toes. Having a conversation pressed so tight wasn't going to be very productive. He was very distracted. It didn't seem to faze the other two, though.

"Yeah? And how did that talk go?" James pressed a small kiss on the nape of his neck, over the tattoo he knew was there. James loved Sirius' tattoos, from head to toe. His favorite were the antlers under his collarbones, a set he had gotten for James. They had long nights where James took his time exploring every bit of ink he ran across. The memory of those nights really wasn't helping Sirius' ability to think.

Remus ducked his face closer, lips pressed against Sirius' ear. His breath tickled. "It went like I want this."

The entire situation was totally throwing him. Having two crazy fit guys pressed up close, trying to have a conversation about all of them becoming a them. Sirius knew that nothing could happen with the two of them so pissed; not only would it confuse everything, if there was no long talk between the three beforehand, but it would be just plain wrong when the two were so pissed. He had strict rules about consent.

He tried to pull him face away from Remus', which meant leaning further into James, who sighed contently. Sirius chased it with his own, more exasperated, sigh. These two would be the death of him. "I'm glad you do, Remus. Why don't we go lay down now and talk in the morning?"

When James and Remus both nodded, Sirius thanked whatever deities were listening. It was a lot easier to wrangle the two into the bedroom than he expected. Pajamas weren't happening, and the fight wasn't worth it. Pants were good enough. Sleeping three in the bed would get hot, anyway. 

They ended up laying in exactly the same position that they had stood. Remus pressed with his back tight against the wall, a large hand cupping Sirius' hip, holding him close. James pressed against his front, arm reaching over his waist to Remus. There was more giggling and some inappropriate touching, but Sirius put a quick end to it. In the end, the two fell asleep relatively quickly. Sirius was nestled between their two warm bodies, feeling happy and safe.

 

When Remus woke up, his head was throbbing and he was sweaty. It was hard to see through the veil of hair spread across his face. He vaguely remembered going home with James. He supposed that waking up in bed with them shouldn't be too surprising. He carefully lifted his head, trying to figure out what woke him up. Over Sirius' head, he could see James blinking back at him. He smiled tentatively, hoping that nothing had changed overnight. 

His worries seemed to be for nothing, though. James smiled back widely, running a hand carefully down Remus' arm. He mouthed a silent "We okay?" Remus subtly nodded in return, and grabbed James' hand, twining their fingers together. 

They laid like that for a while while Sirius slept. Remus felt oddly light, knowing he made the right decision the night before. It felt like being at home, laying in bed with the two men who felt more like family than anyone else he had. He played with James' fingers, thinking about the conversation that had led to this.

There were a lot of awkward questions about the logistics of dating two people at once, but mostly they spent time getting to know each other. Remus was surprised to learn that James and Sirius had known each other since they were 12, even more so that they had been officially together (though there were fights and some break ups) since they were 17. It made sense that the two were so in sync with each other, after so many years. Remus voiced his concern about being the outsider in their tight relationship. James tried his best to ease the fears.

Mostly, though, they talked about Sirius. James was so in love, and Remus could tell when he talked about the other man. He loved to talk about the smallest details. James described in detail all of Sirius' tattoos, his scars; he talked about Sirius' favorite wine, swill according to James. After a few more pints, he lamented Sirus' home life, how shitty his family had treated the man growing up. He described how easy it was to make Sirius blush, even though he seemed to have no shame. Though he hadn't spent much time with him, Remus felt like he knew Siriusafter a single night at the pub with James.

Between them, Sirius began shifting, first pressing a kiss to James' cheek, then turning over and pressing tight against Remus. Admittedly, it had been a while since he had shared a bed with anyone, but the feeling of Sirius excited against his thigh was unmistakable. He flashed a look at James, with no idea what to do. The other man seemed oblivious to his problem, though. 

He had a moment of panic, but squeezed it down. There was no reason to be nervous. Not only was it perfectly natural, it was nice. Remus could deny it as much as he wanted to, but sooner or later he'd have to face his feelings, including the sexual ones. Sooner seemed to be a better option, with the rather pressing issue.

With Sirius' serene face, Remus could have thought he was still asleep, if not for the grin playing on his face. His hair had fallen out of the bun while he slept and was splayed everywhere. The smile made his nose crinkle up cutely. 

"Good morning, Padfoot." Remus vaguely remembered from the night of the attack that James had called Sirius "Pads". When he asked, James fell into fits of laughter at their childhood nicknames. He snorted his beer and explained through giggles the drunken mishaps that had led to them. 

Sirius wrinkled his nose more, but didn't respond right away. He blinked one huge grey eye at Remus, who smiled back at him. Sirius leaned his shoulders back into James, but kept his bottom half flush against Remus.

"How's the hangover?" There was amusement in Sirius' voice. Remus could remember crashing into the flat and just how pissed they had been. No doubt it was hilarious to Sirius, seeing two grown men making total idiots of themselves. From behind them, James snorted.

"Don't think I didn't see that bottle of wine you finished last night."

"I'm sure that was nothing compared to what you two put away," Sirius shot back. 

Remus chuckled, deep in his chest. The two were adorable together. Sirius shuddered in response to his laugh, and his thoughts turned downward a bit. All three were still pressed against each other, hands holding bodies tight. For the first time, Remus noticed that all of them were only in their pants. 

James cleared his throat, trying to clear the sudden tension in the air. "So, I vaguely recall you saying you wanted to talk in the morning, Pads?"

Sirius looked over his shoulder to his boyfriend, lifting an eyebrow. "I'm surprised you remember anything from last night, love."

He smiled, showing all of his teeth. Without his glasses, he had to lean in and squint to see everything. "Only the most important things."

"Yeah, well. I just wanted to make sure everything was kosher, that you two went over everything, you know, and everyone is all comfortable." 

Remus appreciated the concern Sirius had. The situation was delicate and anything even slightly amiss could make it end before it even began. The way he brought it up so casually, not pressing the issue or making everyone stop and sit down for the conversation, was exactly what they needed. Sirius was exactly what James and Remus needed.

Remus brought a hand up to cup James' cheek, brushing a stray curl back, and leaned in to lightly kiss Sirius. It was soft, delicate, and it said everything that Remus didn't have words for. He intended to leave it at that, but Sirius had other ideas. He pulled Remus close by the neck, demanding. Following his lead, Remus propped up on his elbow to fully lean over the man, tongue darting out to lick his lips. Sirius opened his mouth, making a small sound that James echoed. It pulled them apart, breath heavy. It was only a kiss, but it felt like so much more. It was heated, giving the impression of things to come.

Remus expected James to be frustrated that they hadn't included him or maybe angry that they hadn't discussed anything, or even jealous. He didn't expect to see the hungry expression that painted James' face. It looked like he was seeing something earth shattering. He was leaning close, hand hovering over Remus' back. 

Sirius's pupils were blown wide, lips swollen. He looked between the two other men. "Something tells me this wasn't really part of the discussion."

"Mm, no. Is this okay?" Remus didn't want to pull away or stop, but he didn't want to get into anything that they hadn't all agreed to with clear minds.

It wasn't Sirius who responded, but James. His voice was husky and breathy. "More than."

He dropped his hand, caressing the small of Remus' back where the elastic of his pants met his body. His thumb slowly moved back and forth, sending a thrill up Remus' spine. He leaned over, bringing his lips right over Remus', giving him a chance to pull away. When he didn't, James brought them together in a kiss that mirrored the one he and Sirius had just shared. 

It turned heated more quickly, becoming a mess of tongues. They discovered each other's mouths, fighting for dominance. Between them, Sirius let his hands explore. It was like nothing Remus had ever experienced, having the full attention of two people at once. He felt surrounded in heat, enveloped by it. It was overwhelming in the best way he had ever felt.

He could feel Sirius hard again, pressed against him. A hand, he wasn't sure whose, roamed down the back of his pants to squeeze his ass tightly. Remus couldn't help but pull back, gasping at the feeling. The two men pushed him backwards onto the bed, Sirius recapturing his mouth while James moved downward to his neck, all lips and tongue and teeth. 

Kissing Sirius was a totally different feel than kissing James. Where James was demanding and controlling, Sirius went along with Remus, following his movements and allowing him to lead. It was a heady feeling, having such focused attentions on him. As if synchronized, they both pulled back at the same time, leaving Remus gasping on the bed. His skin was burning where hands and lips and tongues traced. 

"You're so brilliant. So fucking sexy." Remus couldn't form words to respond. It only made James seem more pleased. 

Above him, James pulled Sirius against him, licking his lips but not kissing. Sirius threw his head back and James moved to his long neck, teasing the skin, licking over the rose tattoo, sucking a mark into the other side to mirror it. It was the most attractive thing Remus had ever seen. Feeling dazed, but bold, he let his palms graze over their tented laps. He was once again struck by how different they were. Under his hand, Sirius felt impossibly thick. James was longer, thinner. It was mind blowing. They pulled apart, gasping. Sirius pressed his hips up, into Remus' palm, chasing more friction, more contact, just more. 

James seemed to have a clearer head than either of his partners, mumbling something about condoms and rushing off, presumably to the bathroom. At the thought of them, or because of something else entirely, Sirius let out a low groan. Remus wanted more of that sound, wanted to pull as much from the man as he could. Remus used his height and weight advantage to flip their positions.

He quickly yanked down Sirius' pants, taking in the sight of him nude and perfect. His cock was everything Remus had imagined, thick and flushed beautifully. Remus skated his fingers down him, reveling in the noise he made. He leaned down to whisper in Sirius' ear.

"How would you like me to suck this amazing cock? Hm? Go down on you until you scream for me. Could you take James while I did? I bet you can take all of him no problem. You would make such great noises around him."

Sirius' eyes rolled back as he gasped. Remus curled his fingers around him, pulling more firmly. He could feel the bed dip as James joined them, leaving a pile of condoms and a fresh bottle of lube on the sheets. 

"He likes it nice and rough," James told him, unwrapping a condom and slipping a hand between them to roll it onto Sirius. Remus was nearly aching to swallow him down. Knowing that James was watching them only made it better. He leaned down, licking one long stripe from the swell of his balls all the way up to his tip. 

James threaded his fingers through Remus' curls, pushing him lightly down until his lips were stretched wide, down over his head, further and further, until he was taking in as much as he could. Above them, James was praising them both.

"So beautiful, and you're taking it so well. I think you deserve a reward for being so good."

Remus tried hard to focus on what he was doing, but as James pulled down his pants and gave his ass a tight squeeze, it was difficult. He pulled backs, letting his lips drag up Sirius' length, swirling his tongue up and around his tip. He gasped as he felt James' tongue probing lightly. Definitely losing focus. As much as he loved to do it for people, Remus had never been eaten out, not really. A few licks here or there, but never the enthusiasm or vigor that James was working. It was indescribable, the feeling of hot breath and an even hotter mouth working him open.

He renewed his efforts on Sirius, forgetting about the teasing and giving it everything he could. He took him down and down, until his nose was pressed tight against Sirius' bare stomach. He swallowed around the thick cock pressing into his throat. Sirius moaned, making Remus work harder and faster. James must have sensed it, and started licking and sucking without abandon. 

When he added a finger, continuing to lick and swirl around the tight flesh, Remus shuddered, pressing himself against him. He whimpered around Sirius, a noise he quickly shared. He rested his hand on Remus' head, not pulling or pushing like James had, just resting it there.

"I'm so close. Please, Remus, please." 

Remus bobbed up and down, from root to tip every time. He moved a hand from Sirius' hips to hold his balls, now high and tight against his body. James added a second finger and pulled back enough to tell Sirius, "Come for me. Come on, Sirius, come."

Hearing James' voice pushed him over the edge. Remus worked him through his orgasm, sucking until he felt a tap on his shoulder. He laid his head on Sirius' hip and began stroking his own cock in time with James' fingers. It didn't take long until he was spilling over his hand. His orgasm hit him like a train, his vision going white. In the back of his head, he could hear himself calling James' name over and over again. 

For a few minutes, he stayed slumped over Sirius, trying to get his bearings. It was the best orgasm he had in as long as he could remember. Part of him wanted to lay there and bask in the afterglow. A larger part of him made himself turn around to James, to help him finish, too. It seemed to be unnecessary, though.

"You already...?"

James leaned forward and kissed Remus thoroughly. "I think you underestimate how you and Sirius look together."

Remus gave him another peck, then laid back in the bed against Sirius, his head against his stomach. James laid at the foot of the bed, not caring to move. Sirius dug a foot into James' side.

"So, that was... unplanned." James grabbed his foot, tickling him back in retaliation. 

Remus watched them, sighing happily. "Unplanned but definitely not unenjoyable."

 

EPILOGUE

Sirius watched his men cuddling on the couch, clad in fuzzy pajamas and happy socks (so dubbed by James and only understood by Remus). It had been a long day for all of them, but they were finally settled back down. After a year together, they had figured out how to handle almost everything that came their way. They were by no means perfect, though. The still had pointless fights, fights that were painful.

Sirius had learned to read the others best; he tried to prevent fights when he could, but sometimes it happened anyway. When they woke up that morning, he could tell it was going to be a bad day for Remus. More often than not, Sirius was the one whose attitude started problems, he easily admitted it to himself, but when Remus had bad days, he had very bad days. 

Sirius and James had woken up alone in bed that morning, with no Remus in sight, no scent of breakfast, no sound, just nothing. In bed, they exchanged looks, then went to look for their missing third. James was the one who found him first, sitting on the hard ground next to the door, chain smoking. The burnt out fags told them he had been sitting there for a while. They had found him like that once before, and it had ended in him walking out, leaving for hours with no explanation.

Neither of them said anything, sitting close but not touching. The three sat silently for nearly an hour, Remus working his way through his back of cigarettes, and long after. It was so hard for Sirius and James when Remus was having a bad day because they had no idea what the problem was, so there was nothing they could do to make it better. Remus had started to talk about his past, but not only snippets here and there. They tried to be understanding, but it was hard.

After a while, Sirius lightly nudged Remus' shoulder. "Alright, dear?"

Remus leaned away from the touch and muttered, "Yeah, fine."

James put a hand on Remus' knee, holding fast when he tried to pull away. James was an amazing person, and caring to a fault, but he had always been a happy guy. He didn't understand what it felt like to just need to be alone. Sirius knew it was a bad idea to force touching on Remus, but he didn't want to argue about it. In a soft tone, James said, "Talk to us, we're here for you."

The look Remus gave him made Sirius think twice about not saying anything about the touching. It was meaner than Sirius had ever seen him. He could tell that it was going to get very ugly. Remus sat up straighter, looking James straight in the eye.

"Oh, you want to talk? Sure, let's talk. How about we talk about your incurable optimism, and your inability to see faults in anyone. Or, we can talk about how we always talk but never actually say anything. We could talk about how you forgive Sirius for every shitty thing he says when he's upset, and every temper tantrum, and every sullen mood he gets in. Or! Or, we could talk about how you're absolutely shitty at just leaving. Things. Alone."

James and Sirius both reeled back, feeling like they had been hit. Remus had never talked to them (or anyone) like that. They had known each other just long enough to hit exactly where it hurt. Sirius hated being needy and emotional, dragging down everyone around him. Up until that point, James and Remus supported him fully, making sure he knew that it was okay to rely on them, because that's what you did in a relationship. James, on the other hand, knew that he was naiive, and it bothered him more than he cared to admit. Hearing Remus criticize them was painful. 

Sirius tried not to take it personally. He had said some rather horrible things to James before, on some of his worst days. It was hard, though. He knew right away that James wouldn't be able to brush it off. If Remus had just attacked James, that would have been a different story, but he hadn't, and James was fiercely protective of Sirius.

"Hey, I don't know what got your pants twisted, but you have no right to say those things. You can't make things personal every time you're having a shit day."

Remus stood up, using his full height to loom over James. The spite in his voice was heartbreaking. "I'll do whatever the fuck I want." 

As he walked away, there was nothing else for them to say or do. Sirius closed the distance between himself and James, leaning heavily into his boyfriend's body. The words hurt, but what hurt the most was Remus' distrust in confiding in them. 

All plans they had for the day were canceled; James and Sirius were in far too foul a mood to care about lunch with Lily, or about anything else. They felt hurt and worried about Remus, who hadn't been in contact since he stormed off without his phone or wallet, still in his sleep clothes. They barely exchanged words, huddled together on the couch. They didn't have to say anything, they both knew what the other was thinking. 

It was hard to know if Remus would walk through the door again. And if he did, what could they possibly say to him to explain just how much he had hurt them? And that was if he would even listen. Together they had found a great rhythm; everyone had their place in the relationship. They had inside jokes together, and Sirius thought at least, that they all made each other better people. He didn't know if all the good was worth the tumultuous, secretive Remus that made an appearance so randomly. When he was just silent, it was one thing, but when he was verbally attacking the other two... the emotional roller coaster was hard, maybe too hard.

There was no guarantee that Remus wouldn't walk right back out the door, and out of their lives. That was the problem. James and Sirius had worked so hard for so long to be a stable couple that it was hard to have someone come into their lives who they loved unconditionally, but who shook things up painfully.

It was nearly dusk when they heard a key in the door. James and Sirius exchanged a look, but didn't move from their twisted together position. Remus entered slowly, as if he were afraid of what he would find inside. Nobody gave eye contact. 

Remus made his way over to the couch, sitting on the coffee table in front of the other pair. He looked as exhausted as the others felt. It looked like he had been pulling at his hair all day, a habit he had adopted from James. With a sigh, he leaned his elbows on his knees and looked awkwardly at the other two.

"Look, I honestly don't think I can apologize enough. I won't even try. I know that I was out of line. You were right, Prongs, I can't take things out on you."

His voice sounded close to tears, but Sirius couldn't make himself look at his face to check. James began shifting, sitting up a bit straighter. He started to say something, but Remus stopped him.

"No, let me just talk first. I want to to try to explain. If... if that's okay. If you want to hear." Sirius could feel James nod slowly. If Remus was willing to talk, to open up, they weren't going to stop him.

"I know I haven't been open with you two about, well, about anything. I've never been someone who talks about my problems. Today was the anniversary of my parents' deaths. I know it's not an excuse, but I never handle it well. Usually, I take off work, get away from everyone, just find a place to be alone. I thought this year, I could be with you, that it would be okay, but clearly I was wrong.

"It's not that I didn't want to tell you because I don't trust you or anything. I just... I'm not like you, Sirius, I can't share my feelings. I haven't come to terms with things yet."

Remus was sniffling now, voice wet with tears. Sirius looked up at his name, taking in Remus totally for the fist time. He wasn't just crying, he looked terrified. His hands were shaking and he was worrying at his lip so much that Sirius was worried it was going to bleed. Hurt feelings or not, he wanted to reach out and comfort his boyfriend.

"And I'm not like you, James, I can't work through my problems with other people. And I love you both so much because you two can, and you're so sure of yourselves. I'm just not. But I want to be. For you."

Sirius reached a hand out, taking one of Remus'. He was so open, so much more vulnerable than he had ever let himself be. He was trying as hard as he could to make their relationship work. He reached out with the other, wiping the tears from Remus' face.

"Don't ever feel like you're not good enough for us. Just because we're different, doesn't mean you're any less. And don't ever feel like you have to talk about something you're not ready to talk about. But Remus, you can't talk to us like that, ever. No matter what."

Remus nodded quickly. "I know, I know. I'm so sorry."

"When we say you need to talk to us, it's not just about your problems. If you need space, or time, if you need us to back off about something, that's all you have to say." James hadn't made contact with them yet, he hadn't reached out to Remus in any way. Usually he didn't hold a grudge about things, but Sirius knew how serious the situation was to him. 

Remus could sense it, too. He gently pulled away from Sirius' hand to give James full eye contact, even though there were fresh tears in his eyes. "I'll do better. I will. And I know I can't keep saying that and getting away with things, but please. Please, just give me a chance."

James grabbed the hand that Sirius wasn't holding. His eyes softened. "Of course we'll give you a chance. Of course, love."

Together, they pulled Remus up onto the couch with them, sitting uncomfortably on top of their uneven laps. It was a mess of arms and bodies wrapped around each other, but no matter how uncomfortable he was, there was no way Sirius was letting go. The minute Remus hit their shoulders, he began sobbing, letting out everything he had been holding in not just for days, but for years.

They held him tight, whispering nice words and I love yous. Some time later, James suggested they get into their softest clothes and socks and watch a movie. Sirius got up to make popcorn, ready for a night of cuddles and good company. He took the time to watch James and Sirius, to watch them happy and playing. The people he loved were happy together, and that mean more than anything else in the world.

Sure, they weren't perfect; they had issues to work on. But they were working on them, and they were working. That was all that mattered.


End file.
